Obama's Hip-Hop Beyonce Show Didn't Create Jobs


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You might recall a couple years ago, when America had a president. Barack Obama performed two full terms as Right Wing Bogeyman in the national FOX News touring company of Ungrateful Nation. It wasn’t rewarding work but he had his parking validated and got half price drinks at participating TGI Fridays. But that’s all behind him now, and Obama just wants to kick back and enjoy his retirement.

Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s On the Run II tour got pretty presidential on Saturday.

Barack Obama and Michelle Obama attended the couple’s concert in FedExField in Landover, Maryland. Many fans filmed the former President of the United States and First Lady dancing in their box seats and posted videos on social media.

An eyewitness told E! News that the Obamas danced to the final song, the music couple’s recent single “Apes–t.”

That’s so sweet! I don’t see anything to criticize about a loving middle-aged couple dancing the night away, but as Tom Servo once said on “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” “White man please advise.”


Jake Tapper is confused. Obama hasn’t been president for a while, and even when he was, he was due the occasional leisure activity. He wasn’t the president of one of Ivanka Trump’s Chinese sweatshops. Besides, Donald Trump is wrecking the country beyond recognition and still finds time to golf every weekend. It’s possible Obama puts great thought into how to save the nation between Beyoncé concerts. Not that he has to because it’s not his damn job anymore.

Why does it bother white people so much to see black folks just chilling? It’s like it’s the antebellum South and Tapper spotted a slave sitting with their feet up and drinking a mint julep with top-shelf bourbon. Why can’t the brother be happy? Is he supposed to be grumpy cat 24/7 until Trump vacates the White House? If black folks didn’t seek comfort in music when the shit got real, we wouldn’t have had jazz, blues, or rock music for Elvis to steal.

What is Tapper’s point anyway? He claims Obama drove the Democrats into a ditch, which if true should mean that the party’s better off without him, right? We should focus on new leadership. What do you people even want? No one ever listens to Obama until it’s too late and they’ve elected a psychopath. Then their raggedy behinds show up wanting to play nice.

“Oh baby give me one more chance (show you that I love you). Won’t you please let me (back in your heart). Oh darlin’ I was blind to let you go (let you go baby)…”

I don’t blame folks for missing Obama. He was a mammal. He also accomplished quite a bit, but Tapper probably defines success simply as raw political power. All that matters is Nancy Pelosi lost her speaker’s gavel in 2010. Never mind that this happened because Democrats passed the Affordable Care Act the same year, which helped insure millions of Americans. Republicans have oodles of political capital, payable in rubles, and they are content to spend it locking up immigrant children and reducing the tax burden for yacht-collecting billionaires. Paul Ryan presided over the complete surrender of the GOP to Trump. Will Tapper criticize how Ryan spends his post-speakership years before Satan gets around to collecting his soul during halftime at a Wisconsin Badgers game?

No one has a problem with George W. Bush enjoying Texas brisket and painting while his Republican successor in the White House hands over the keys to the nation to Vladimir Putin. Bush, as president, made an arguably earnest attempt to change the perception of the GOP (“compassionate conservatism” and an inclusive cabinet). We literally went from Alberto Gonzales, who is of Mexican descent, to Jeff Sessions, who might actually have a slave left somewhere. Why is Tapper fixated on Democrats’ temporary weakness and not the GOP’s perhaps permanent grossness? It’s Bush’s political party that degenerated into a white nationalist freak show. Lose Obama’s number and instead summon Zombie Ronald Reagan to fix this mess.

Here’s what I find (not so) strange: There’s a lot of inconsistency about what roles Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama should serve in private life. It seems like the same folks who argue Clinton should go away and knit because she “screwed up” the 2016 election also demand that Obama put on his cape and cowl and return to a Gotham City that’s now run by the Joker’s less ethical cousin.

There’s even a big push from the “bro media” for Pelosi to step down and join Clinton for a long hike in the woods without any bread crumbs to find their way back. It’s a consistent theme: Women shouldn’t work and black men shouldn’t stop, even on a Saturday in July. That’s America for you.

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