Oh Great, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Gonna Steal Everybody Else's Congressional Districts Now

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who won the Democratic primary in NY-14 by committing SOCIALISM SORCERY, has won another primary, because apparently she thinks she is entitled to do SOCIALISM REDISTRIBUTION of all the primaries in the whole American land TO HERSELF. Well, Wonkette has one word for that and it is PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

OK we are kidding. But she did win another primary in a district she isn’t even running to represent. It is New York’s 15th district, which is next door to the 14th. She didn’t win the Democratic primary though, but rather the Reform Party’s primary, and she won it by collecting NINE WRITE-IN VOTES. She even beat the incumbent, Democratic Rep. Jose Serrano!

In response, Ocasio-Cortez declared victory and anointed herself president of all the primaries in all of America and was last seen marching toward the White House to go ahead and pick out Oval Office decor while El Dipshit is out of town, just so she has it ready for the 2024 election, which she will be just barely eligible for.

Just kidding, she graciously LOLed and said she’ll go ahead and be president of NY-14 for now:

She WOULD say that.

OK, we really have nothing else to say about this besides how it is a cute story to end our day, so we will go ahead and make this your OPEN THREAD and get the fuck outta here. Goodbye!

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